Right vs. Wrong

I often think about my "golden" days in college and grad school (especially college) when I was in super-buff shape and worked hard to be that way.  And try to figure out why I can't do that now.  I thought it would be helpful to me (and maybe others as well) if I tried to write down what I was doing then vs. what I'm doing now and see if I can uncover some secrets.  Here goes:

 

What I Did Then (1997):

1. Biked and/or walked to 3-4 classes everyday (easily a 1/2 hr bike ride to and from my farthest class).

2. Ate whatever I wanted in reasonable portions - ate what tasted good, was convenient, and made me feel good, not necessarily what was supposed to be good for me.

3. Ran three times a week with an equally motivated and able-bodied friend; took three aerobics classes a week with same friend.  Actually scheduled exercise in like a class - no excuses to miss.

4. Concentrated on the present and a hopeful outlook on the future - not overcome with fears and anxiety over the future.

 

What I Do Now (2006):

1. Sit at a desk all day, walking from house to car, car to desk, and back again.

2. Ate whatever I want with no regard to portion sizes (the bigger the portion, the happier and less anxious I am); PLUS pressure myself to eat only what's good for me and have the perfect diet.  I know - it's very contradictory, but I think you all can relate...

3. Try to walk 3-4 times a week with friends at work (45 minutes each), try to get on the treadmill or do a video each morning (averaging about once a week). Make a lot of excuses.

4. Constantly dread the future - the work I don't want to do, the bills I don't want to pay, the house I don't want to clean and maintain, the diet and exercise plan I don't want to follow, the dinner I don't want to cook, the kids I don't want to bathe...  Ugh

 

Conclusions?  A BIG difference, eh?  Anyone see yourself in the above comparison???  I imagine that it's a pretty common scenario.  I know it's opened my eyes a bit wider.  The real question now is this: How can I make what I did THEN fit into my life NOW?  What can I do NOW to give me the results I got THEN???

 

What I Need To Do Now to Look Like I Did Then:

1. Work activity into my day.  Take 15 minute walks for my breaks, go up and down the stairs instead of the elevator (only one floor for crying out loud!), take frequent trips to the bathroom and water cooler, do office aerobics and office calisthenics.  :-)

2. Go back to eating what tastes good, is convenient, and makes me feel good.  Stop worrying so much about "healthy" (a trigger word), and focus more on "satisfaction" (a word that relates both physically and emotionally). Relearn the art of moderation.

3. Schedule in exercise as I would a doctor appointment or meeting at work.  Do it with a buddy whenever possible.  Make it fun.

4. Focus more on the present.  Fill my head with thoughts of what I DO want, and crowd out all the thoughts of what I DON'T want.  Put some blinders on to prevent me from getting distracted by what I DON'T want.

 

I've made a challenge with two friends at work.  One is getting married mid-October, so our deadline is Oct 2.  I've pledged 20 pounds.  Loser has to buy lunch for the winners at the winners' choice of restaurant.  I've got a long way to go!  Wish me luck!  :-)

Worthy

The life I want starts today; the person I want to be is born today.

 

How corny is that?  I was still depressed this afternoon.  I had planned on taking today off work, but things kept coming up, so it didn't end up working out that way.  Instead, when I had a chance, I took myself out for lunch.  I like to do that sometimes - go sit in a restaurant alone, and know that that time is for me only.  I can eat, drink, think, watch, be, and do whatever I want for however long I want. 

 

Anyway, one of my favorite places to do this is the top-rated chinese restaurant here in town.  And because my mood was so poor going into it, I ordered the most heart-stoppingly unhealthy thing on the menu - General Tso's chicken.  But as I ate, I worked my thought process into a more positive frame of mind. By the time I was halfway done, I'd talked myself most of the way out of my funk. Then they brought the fortune cookie, which I'd completely forgotten about. By the time I'd finished (still with plenty of food left on my plate), I was feeling more centered.  Then came the fortune cookie:

 

If you think you can, you can.

 

It's dumb, I know, but that phrase was exactly what I needed, and summed up what I'd been trying to tell myself through the whole meal. As I headed out of the restaurant and on to CVS (I always make that stop on the way back to work in case I need a chocolate fix), my fortune and my first declaration evolved into this:

 

Live the like you want.  Be who you to be. You CAN do it. You ARE worth it.

 

How's that for a mood-lifting lunch?  And you want to know what I ended up getting at CVS?  Two magazines, 4 colorful pencils (4/$1), an index card holder, and pack of Hershey's Sticks (Dark).  Never had them before, but they appealed to me because there are 9 sticks in this cute little box, and each stick is individually wrapped and only 60 calories each.  As I was heading into my lunch, I was thinking I'd have to get like a big bag of peanut butter cups or something.  As I headed out of my lunch, I was leaning more towards a bag of Dove Dark Promises.  But by the time I got into CVS, I really didn't want anything.  So this little bit that I did get can be used to satisfy a craving without blowing my goals, and it will last much longer than the much larger package I had initially thought to buy

Counting, waiting, and biking - sort of

I'm lagging in my blogging motivation right now, but I'll give a quick update:

 

Diet - I'm counting my weight watchers points again, and that is going well.  I'm not  back to my pre-vacation weight yet, but it's only a matter of days!  Also, since I'm back at work now, I'll be doing my walks during the day.

 

Job - No new yet.  They said they'd be making a decision this week sometime, and it is SOOOO hard to wait!  I keep replaying the interview over and over again in my head trying to pick it apart and gauge my performance. One minute, I think it went great, and the next minute I'm near tears because I'm convinced I blew it! Ugh!

 

Black eye - Took the kids for two bikes rides this weekend.  The first one, DH ran next to DS's bike, and I ran with DD in the jogging stroller. That worked out well.  The second one, DH rode his bike with DD on the back, and I ran next to DS's bike.  Not so good.  We are both klutzes!  LOL  He hasn't quite mastered the art of braking and steering at the same time.  So he tried to slow down, looked down at his feet, and steered his bike right in front of me.  He toppled over, and I dove over him.  And landed on the blacktop.  On my face.  I have a nice bruise and a bit of road rash on my left cheek, some scraped up hands, and a heck of a bruise on my left shin where it must have hit the bike...  And DS?  Not a scratch on him. Guess the helmet, elbow pads, and knee pads have already paid for themselves. Maybe I should invest in a set for when I run???  ;-)  Anyway, we brushed ourselves off, and continue on for the last mile of our route.  That has to count for at least double in the exercise department, right?

 

 

Back at Home, Back on Program

Here I am!  I have not fallen off the face of the earth!  :-)  Just had a trip to visit family.  I've been gone for 6 days, and have been on the road for 4 of them.  I think I'm ready to chill out at home now, which is what I get to since I'm off work the rest of the week.  Yay!

 

Anyway, my interview on Friday went well (I think).  They had one more interview to conduct and said they plan on making a decision next week  So I'm trying not to think about it took much right now.  I'm not getting my hopes up, but the interview just cemented my desire - I really want this job.  The people were so nice, and the job sounded like it fit my personality like a glove.  Keep you fingers crossed for me!  :-)

 

On the diet front, everything pretty much went out the window over the weekend.  No real excuses, I (and my sister) just kind of gave in to temptation!  But we're getting back on track today, and the pounds will start to fly off once again.

 

As for the trip itself it went pretty well.  I got to spend three days with my brother and sister on our way to and from upstate NY, and it was really nice to be able to spend that time with them.  Especially nice to have the time to chat with my sister.  Thanks, Mary!!!

 

So, the rest of this week, I'll be getting back on track with my diet and exercise, hoping to be back to where I was when I weigh in on (but not before!) Monday.

 

Hope everyone had a safe, relaxing 4th!

 

 

Rhythm

Well into week two of being "on plan", and things are going ok.  My interview is Friday, and I'm using that as motivation.  :-)  Want to look as good as possible!  Ok, so whatever I lose in the next 4 days (a pound?   maybe 2) is not going to show on my body, but it will show up in my confidence.

 

I kind of feel like I'm establishing a new rhythm for myself in terms of when and what I eat, getting the exercise, etc.  Had a good treadmill run this morning - bumped it up as planned.  So I did 28 minutes total of running (3 8's and a 4).  I tell you, it is rough to start a running routine less than 5 minute after rolling out of bed.  Ugh.  But by halfway through the first interval, I was more awake.  And it felt great at the end!

 

Well, I have a meeting coming up, and since it's a web/teleconference, I'll probably try to do some work while it's going on.  LOL  Depends on how stimulating the conversation is!

 

Sorry for the short post.  Just not much going on today.  Keep on keeping on!

Most successful week

Weight: 202 (down 6). Total lost=8, 42 to go.

 

Well, despite a couple of bumps in the road, my first week of really sticking to my plan ended with a very satisfactory weigh-in!  Woohoo!!!  I know that this is the ONLY time I'll see a loss like this, but it is very motivating!  Especially since I struggled so much over the weekend.  Get this - I turned down the best burger in town on Saturday, ice cream sundaes Saturday night, my favorite pasta salad Saturday night, chocolate chip cookies last night, pancakes with syrup yesterday morning, and waffles Saturday morning.  All of the above were eaten by my family in front of me while I sat and talked with them, without too much of a struggle.  That in and of itself is a big success!  As I get a little more comfortable with my program, I'll be able to sneak in a few small treats (I did actually have one very small cookie), but right now it's just best if I abstain until I feel I can control myself.

 

So, as my first 5 pound reward, I've earned my first day off work (to be taken sometime this week, day TBA), and the right to go purchase a couple of new tank tops for hot weather walking.

 

OK - onto the job/interview front.  I talked to my friend last night - the one whose old job it is, and the one who recommended I apply.  She said, and I quote, "I probably shouldn't say this, but I will. I do know that they were very impressed with your resume!"  Ack!  This was just before bed last night.  You think I slept last night?  NOT!  I shut off my 5am alarm when I was still awake at 3am.  I did finally fall asleep sometime shortly after 3, but there was no way I was getting on the treadmill at 5!  Anyway, I'll be taking Benadryl or Tylenol PM before every night this week I can tell.  I am very nervous/excited about this interview on Friday.  I SO hope it goes well!  The more I think about it, the more I want it!!!

 

Anyway, that about sums up my mood this morning. Tired, happy, nervous, anxious.  I have a bunch of this I need to get done today, so I'll wrap this up.  Thanks for all the support everyone!

finishing strong

Weekend is upon us, and I'm determined to finish off my week strong. Weigh-in is Monday, and I know it will be good news. I just have to keep a reign on myself until then! Yesterday was pretty rough, with the interview news and my weekly lunch date, but it could have been worse. I'm not counting yesterday as being on my meal plan though - it was just too rough. I also didn't exercise last night - I was exhausted But otherwise, I've earn everned every other challenge point this week, and I'm feeling good!

I just got off the treadmill for my run. I'm doing 40 minutes total right now, including 24 min of running (4 intervals of 6 minutes). I think next week I'll bump it up to 3 8's plus a 4 at the end. My goal is to be able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes. I'm still a ways off from there, but each week will bring me closer! I keep having to bump the speed up a bit to keep from kicking the front of the treadmill. Today I did most of my running at 5.3mph, with probably 2-3 minutes at 5.5 and 1.5 min (my last sprint) at 6.3. So, my base pace is an 11.3 minute mile. I want to be able to run for 30 minutes continuously at a 10 minute mile. I can do it!

DS and DH should be on their way back from the movies about now, and DD is starting to wake up from her nap. It's been some nice quiet time here. Workout, shower, computer time. I have to take it whenever I can get it!

Ok - guess I'll go throw a load of laundry in and start the dishwasher before DD completely wakes up. Have a great weekend!