On to Day 4

Feeling a little better today mood-wise. Maybe my little "funk be gone" chant yesterday is helping.

Last night was a near miss on the falling-off-the-wagon front. I started in the kitchen after dinner and made it through a granola bar, a popsicle, and a package of Dora snacks (yeah, I know, how old am I?), before I stopped myself. But the important part it is that I DID stop myself before it got out of control. And then I journalled what I ate, and drew a line to mark the end of my eating day. And I left the kitchen and didn't go back. I figure all in all, I did about 250 calories of damage at the most, which is within the realm of reason. Not even enough, relatively speaking, to consider it "off program." It may even help me in the long run.

Oh - and I narrowly escape an encounter with the scale last night. I talked myself out of it in the end. (Do I really want to get discouraged? Will it really help me stay on track? Will it really help me get through the week? Is there anything good that could come of it? The answers to all were NO.)

So, today, I'm back at it. Getting ready to have my oatmeal for breakfast. Already downed 30 ounces of water (woke up very thirsty this morning - hopefully not the start of a sore throat...). And plan to do my walk this morning and treadmill run tonight.

Some thoughts for the day. I've been trying to come up with some of my major issues that I need to work on, and I've got two. Guilt and Confidence. Too much guilt (for no reason) and too little confidence (also for no apparent reason). It doesn't take much to send me on a wild, depressing guilt trip, and I lack the confidence to stand up for myself and take comments at face value. I internalize things that have no business being internalized. If I can work on these things, I know that I'll see big improvements in my life. But how to start? I need to figure out where to draw my boundaries and how thick to make them...